


Go Ahead and Ask Me

by anonymous_sibyl



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Dark, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-06-13
Updated: 2003-06-13
Packaged: 2017-10-04 03:50:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anonymous_sibyl/pseuds/anonymous_sibyl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Caleb asks Buffy a few questions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Go Ahead and Ask Me

**Author's Note:**

> General season seven spoilers. Dark themes.
> 
> This work is licensed under a [Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License](http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/us/). None of the media or characters written about in my fanfiction belong to me and I make no profit from these works. 

A body has just got to wonder when.

Was it when you died for the very first time? All lonely and cold like you were, crying on the ground, choking down water, wearing a color you had no business wearing?

Young thing like you, a death would touch you. Twist you or some-such. Make you different. Or so they'd have you think. Ain't no truth to what they'd tell you. None at all.

There now, darlin'. Stop your crying. Ain't no need for tears now.

Was it that second death? The one you went to like a bride to her groom, a-jumping off this mortal coil to the great beyond? Did your tears turn to wine as you fell?

Or maybe when you come back? Spurning the harp and the halo to crawl your way up the ground and into the bed of that undead creature?

Just a dirty girl, that's what you are. Ain't no better than you should be.

Was it when you gave in to your lusts and your lover turned from you? Didn't pay your pleading and crying no nevermind, treated you like the whore you are. You knew you deserved it, knew women are put on this earth to be man's temptation.

Was it when you killed him, stuck a sword in his gut, sent him to the hell that was a-waiting for both of you?

Or was it when he come back, death not being a thing that can hold sinners like him and like you? When he come back and you hid it, walking around wearing your shame like a veil, lying to your friends and offering succor to the devil?

Do you dream about death, little girl? Does it bring you a comfort in the dark night?

Was it that young man what run away from you? What run to a vampire whore, just another dirty girl, then leave when he can't get but one word of love from your mouth?

Was it the killing you did? All the cutting and staking, covering it all up with your fancy words and fairy tales about being chosen, thinking you were a righteous savior when all you did was sully everything you laid your fingers to.

You're unclean, girl. Dirty and spoiled, like all your kind from when time began.

No, none of that was it?

Not the killing nor the lying nor the whoring. That's all natural to your kind. Daughters of Lilith, all of you.

It was that other one, weren't it? The Cain to your Abel.

Not the stabbing of her, no. Not the lusting for her, not the anger at her, all burning up inside of you for years.

It was when she killed that man and you saw how deep she felt it. That low inside where woman is weak, she felt the grief and the guilt so hard she shut herself away.

You shut yourself away, too, didn't you? Locked it all up inside to keep yourself safe. Closed your mind and your heart, but kept your legs wide open.

Somewhat like locking the barn door after the horse has already gotten inside and impregnated your mare, weren't it?

It's okay, girl. There's penance to be had, here, and an unearthly reward waiting for you. Go ahead, ask me for forgiveness.

Go ahead.


End file.
